1. Spending the morning leisurely with her laughing, playing and dancing while watching our reflections on the mirror wall
2. Just napping with her while Dr Oz is on TV
3. Taking her out to my mum's place, our car journey and me worrying the sun gets to her eyes
4. Ferrying my dad and mum out to lunch together with baby, shopping
5. Cuddling her after her shower ( she tends to get insecure) and needed to be nurse straight away
6. Thinking how i want to spend the day, making the most out of the weekday, be it running errands, sorting out clothes, things in the house
7. Walking about malls that is relatively quiet and bringing her sight-seeing, using nursing rooms that is oh-so - peaceful
8. Not thinking about work at all.
9. Whispering "Good Morning Agnes" and " I love you" when she is just awake
10. Trying to multi-task, having two minds, trying to be at many places at the same time
11. Freeing my mind to just relax with her when i am with her...
Such is the life i had during the 16 weeks, i can't say it's all leisure given i had to juggle with two house renovations, looking into who takes care of baby while i go back to work, settling errands, breastfeeding, but this will be a phase which will be gone when i start work. I hate to forget this part of the journey... just as i constantly try to remember the first few days when i was discharged and had to deal with engorgement...
Those were the difficult days, but those were also the days that made me feel human, feel a zombie, feel like a mum, feel like a baby all at the same time. My weakest moments but those were also times when i rose to the occasion, doing things i would never have thought possible.
I do hope now that i was able to breastfeed her for the whole of my maternity that i was able to do so till she is 6 months.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Monday, February 24, 2014
Snippets from a First time Mum- Part 1
And yes, i know the blog title is outdated by like a whole 2 years. I ought to have thought about time when i decided on the blog title.
But well, time passes so fast especially the last 6 months that i felt i've grown 6 years. A lot of it is attributed to -- motherhood.
Pregnancy, Labour and Meeting my new born… what an overwhelming lot of emotions, physical changes, mental and spiritual volatility.
Suddenly, flashbacks of those moments come to mind.
1) when hub drove me to the hospital that fateful night to start my inducing, which i thought would end rather fast, or the most half a day….
2) when i had to de-gown, had inducing pills inserted into me
3) when i had to have this pill inserted so that i can pass motion, and then to have it hold in my .. er hmmm.. for XX seconds before i'm allowed to run to the toilet like some mad cow.
4) when i had to be put on oxytocin drip as the inducing was not going as well as expected even tho my contractions were happening fast and furious
** by the way, baby is awake and thankfully able to just lie in her cocoon bed hiccuping so that i can eternalise my thoughts.
5) being pushed to the delivery room thinking that it's going to happen and just to realise it's a long wait. and then i had laughing gas as the contractions were giving me pain but not enough for me to warrant an epidural.. * on hind sight, i wonder what happened should i have asked for it right from the start.
6) that surreal moment when i was inhaling the laughing gas and had the epidural injected into me…. i was like transcending to and fro time, with the voices of people around me alternating back and fro and as tho i was in some black hole / vacuum which i was desperately trying to get out. Sad thing hub was not beside me and he was at dinner when i kinda hope he was around, but prob a good thing as it would freak him out if he has seen me hallucinate which is what i concluded i went through as the anaesthetist said i was shaking my head even though he kept asking me not to Move. * which i did hear!!
7) the horrifying news when i heard the baby's heart beat started dropping fast every time i went through contractions and that i was still a long way before my cervix was 10 cm. And it's best that i go for caesarean ( emergency).
8) of course the rest is history, i knew the baby had to come out some how, signed the papers, and even joked in the operating theatre during the 20 mins procedure from going into the theatre to getting baby out. The stitching part took out almost twice the time.
9) Looking my baby for the first time and holding her with Hub. Our little family of 3.
10) Staying in hospital for the next e days in our private 1- bedder with hub around, and having baby pushed to me every 2 hours for breastfeeding..
And that's another story.
I gotta play with baby now as she needs my attention.
But well, time passes so fast especially the last 6 months that i felt i've grown 6 years. A lot of it is attributed to -- motherhood.
Pregnancy, Labour and Meeting my new born… what an overwhelming lot of emotions, physical changes, mental and spiritual volatility.
Suddenly, flashbacks of those moments come to mind.
1) when hub drove me to the hospital that fateful night to start my inducing, which i thought would end rather fast, or the most half a day….
2) when i had to de-gown, had inducing pills inserted into me
3) when i had to have this pill inserted so that i can pass motion, and then to have it hold in my .. er hmmm.. for XX seconds before i'm allowed to run to the toilet like some mad cow.
4) when i had to be put on oxytocin drip as the inducing was not going as well as expected even tho my contractions were happening fast and furious
** by the way, baby is awake and thankfully able to just lie in her cocoon bed hiccuping so that i can eternalise my thoughts.
5) being pushed to the delivery room thinking that it's going to happen and just to realise it's a long wait. and then i had laughing gas as the contractions were giving me pain but not enough for me to warrant an epidural.. * on hind sight, i wonder what happened should i have asked for it right from the start.
6) that surreal moment when i was inhaling the laughing gas and had the epidural injected into me…. i was like transcending to and fro time, with the voices of people around me alternating back and fro and as tho i was in some black hole / vacuum which i was desperately trying to get out. Sad thing hub was not beside me and he was at dinner when i kinda hope he was around, but prob a good thing as it would freak him out if he has seen me hallucinate which is what i concluded i went through as the anaesthetist said i was shaking my head even though he kept asking me not to Move. * which i did hear!!
7) the horrifying news when i heard the baby's heart beat started dropping fast every time i went through contractions and that i was still a long way before my cervix was 10 cm. And it's best that i go for caesarean ( emergency).
8) of course the rest is history, i knew the baby had to come out some how, signed the papers, and even joked in the operating theatre during the 20 mins procedure from going into the theatre to getting baby out. The stitching part took out almost twice the time.
9) Looking my baby for the first time and holding her with Hub. Our little family of 3.
10) Staying in hospital for the next e days in our private 1- bedder with hub around, and having baby pushed to me every 2 hours for breastfeeding..
And that's another story.
I gotta play with baby now as she needs my attention.
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